we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
So vagazzling was a success
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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