grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
