fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize