Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
