Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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