Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
