So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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