Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Randomize
