By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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