So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
