Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
