I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
But theres a keg here and me gusta
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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