I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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