god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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