we have officially mastered the walk of shame
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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