i barfeds in our rink
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You pole danced in your parka.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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