Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
