I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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