But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
