he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
