her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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