i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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