i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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