and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
