I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
