Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
