Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
