I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
