Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
