So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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