ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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