Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Randomize
