Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize