maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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