i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
