I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
