I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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