This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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