Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I wanna passion pit in your ass
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
