i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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