Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
