Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
