i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
