we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
