Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
