I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
