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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"

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• (407): View more from Florida

  She even gives head with a lisp.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"

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• (360): View more from Washington

  So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.

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• (283): View more from Ohio

  $645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.

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• (806): View more from Texas

  No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.

  (469): View more from Texas

  Tequila happens.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done

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• (281): View more from Texas

  There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  Drunk twilight is the only twilight

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