The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
