You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
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