Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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