dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
