Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize