My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
