Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
