in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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