a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
