Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
