dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
