you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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