Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
