the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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